Rihanna’s BBHMM is misogyny – and it is no different than Tarantino

I’ve only just watched Rihanna’s Bitch Better Have My Money. I’m in a house with 5 children under the age of 10 – none of whom sleep at the same time. It’s taken this long to get them all out of the house/ asleep so I can watch it on the computer. There’s only one in a house with no wifi so that the children’s internet usage can be monitored – or, as the children point out, Nanna can’t actually work out how to set up the wifi. Either way, there are difficulties in responding to events in a timely manner – particularly since 3 of the 5 are literate.

I wasn’t going to write about the video since everything that I would have wanted to say has already been written. I changed my mind when I read this piece of drivel in the Guardian:

the themes of sexualised violence, seemingly gratuitous nudity and non-consensual BDSM sent segments of the world’s media into a state of apoplexy

There is no such thing as “non-consensual” sexual anything. It is sexual violence. In this context, the sexual violence is accompanied by physical violence. Women who are sexually assaulted are not responsible nor do they ‘deserve’ it.

It is, as Helen Lewis and Sian and crooked rib have argued, simply another media form which celebrates punishing a woman for the behaviour of a man. It is an inherently misogynistic theme.

I have to be honest, though, had I not read Sunny Singh’s article in Media Diversified, I would not have recognised the opening scene as an

acknowledgement of the historical erasure of women of colour by white women who – as a group – have benefitted from both white supremacy and colonialism.

I watched the video with Singh’s comments in mind and I suspect she is right in stating that the

individualised subversion (and reversal) of historical structural racialized and gendered violence is why BBHMM has upset so many (primarily white) commentators?

The criticism directed at Rihanna reflects our racist, misogynistic media. Charlie Sheen, who actively engages in violence against women in both in his real life as well as in his career as an actor, is rarely held accountable for his behaviour. Quentin Tarantino has a houseful of accolades from his peers (and money from fans) for glorifying and excusing male violence. Roman Polanski got a standing ovation at the Oscars despite raping a child. The media rarely mention Sean Penn’s history of domestic violence.

If Eminem had made this video, the media would be talking about Grammy awards and platinum album sales. It would win video of the year at the American Music Awards and secure him a place in the Hip Hop equivalent of the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.

Much of the media criticism is because Rihanna is a Black woman, but it doesn’t mean feminists should refrain from criticizing the video. It means we need to ensure that we do not hold Rihanna to a higher standard than other musicians – that we recognize the ways in which racism and misogyny play a part in how Rihanna’s video is represented in the media.

It also means calling bullshit when a commentator claims that “non-consensual BDSM” exists. Because it doesn’t. No consent is sexual violence. It is that simple.

Charlie Sheen: Still a misogynistic dickhead shocker

Charlie Sheen, misogynist extraordinaire, who spent Father’s Day tweeting vile abuse at his ex-wife Denise Richards, including this charming poem, is still one of the most popular sitcom actors in Hollywood. This is the War on Women

“open letter to
the
media:
Denise Richards
is a shake down
piece of shit doosh phace
&
worst mom alive!
a despicable charlatan who
sux ISIs
ass!!!!
(and cock)
fuk it

I’m out
©

I have paid that
Klay-Vinnik leaky diaper
over 30 Mil
and she calls me
a DbD!

see u in
court you evil
terrorist sack of landfill rash

bitch couldn’t act
hot in a fire
or
wet in a pool

you should all
hear her acting lessons:
sounds like
dolphins sucking off
Coyotes!!!

this gangster
Sheenius will be
Winning!
Duh!!
really grandma?
I’m the
ARCHITECT OF THE TERM YOU LEAKY AND MALARIA
RIDDLED
PUDDLE OF SHIT STINK DECAY!!

and now I’m
out

last note;
this lab rat
is from a retarded
shit hole named
“Downers Grove”

nothing further your Honor

hash tag
go fuk Sambora some more
you
“Dood thief”

that genius called
me 1000 times to ask
“how can I get the
ass funk to be less,
ass-funky”

the only answer I had
was
to tell him to
“steep” that hedgehog
in bleach…”
twice a day

for a year
fukker whore

and hey Irv;

go fuk yourself pussy
bitch

I am the truth
you are my enemy

try me

I dubble dare ya
skinny boy face

Sir © of the Sheen
is
on
stand by

 

13 Of The Worst Mothers Living On This Planet

I must have been having a naive moment when I opened the link to 13 of the Worst Mothers Living On This Planet (clean link). Or, had taken one too many cold pills this morning since I assumed it would be a list of mothers who have killed their children. I wanted to write a comparison of how the media covers child murders committed by mothers versus those committed fathers. It’s not. It’s actually a list of “worst mothers” ever where most are blamed for the behaviour of a man or denigrated for having a mental illness.

Just in case any MRE asshats rock up, I have googled “worst fathers living on the planet”. This is the top five hits on google:

Screen Shot 2015-02-07 at 18.32.04

3 hits refer to animals, 1 refers to a really bad vacation and the last refers to a climate change (I shit you not). Worst fathers on the planet are animals that eat their young – worst mothers are Kris Jenner who signed her kids up to a reality television show.

Now, I’ve never actually watched the Kardashians – or any of its spin-offs – and I’m not a fan of any parent who signs their children up to reality TV. I don’t think parents have the moral right to put their children in the public sphere in a way which is guaranteed to result in them experiencing abuse and harassment. If it is true that Jenner was responsible for releasing the video of her daughter having sex without consent, then she has committed sexual assault. I would absolutely agree that this makes her a bad mother but until I have actual evidence that Jenner did this I’m going to approach any such claims with a grain of salt. After all, the rest of the “13 of the worst mothers living on the planet” list aren’t exactly serial killers, child rapists or violent offenders.

Linda Hogan, Kate Gosselin, Nene Leakes, and Dana Lohan are also on the list because they were involved in reality tv shows. Also, involved in those shows: the fathers – who don’t appear to be on any “shit father” list. Because, hypocrisy.

Also on the list for hypocrisy: Brooke Mueller, Courtney Love, and Kate Moss. How many male celebrities are fathers who have a history of drug use? How many of those fathers are considered “the worst fathers living on the planet”?

Jenner’s daughter Kourtney Kardashian makes it on the list “because of the terrible antics of one of Kourtney’s lovers, Scott Disick”. I had to google Disick having never heard of him but it turns out he’s Kardashian’s long-term partner and father of her three children. There are also rumours that he is an alcoholic and all-around jerk, but I only found those rumours looking at Perez Hilton’s website and Hilton isn’t exactly renown for his attachment to reality. So, we have Kourtney Kardashian as one of the “13 worst mothers living on the planet’ because her partner is a dick. Because that is the definition of a shit mother: reproducing with a jerk. Although, clearly not the definition of a shit father because that is reserved for lions who eat their babies.

I had to google Farrah Abraham and Jenelle Evans both of whom made it on the list because of difficulties they faced following motherhood at age 16 which was broadcast on MTV. Britney Spears makes it on the list for similar reasons: unable to deal with ‘fame’ (read: unrelenting shit from a celebrity obsessed culture which prefers to destroy young women rather than celebrate their accomplishments) and because she is bipolar. All 3 of these women were raised in difficult circumstances – Spears was the main breadwinner for her family and her father still maintains control of her estate effectively infantilising her for life whilst Evans is living with domestic violence. These women are the “worst mothers living on the planet”  not because of what they have done (although all have interacted with the criminal justice system at some point) but because they have not managed to remain Paragons whilst being chased by paparazzi, labelled fat daily, and surrounded by predators interested only in how much money they can squeeze out of them.

Nadya Suleman makes the list for giving birth to octuplets through IVF despite having 3 children already and not being able to financially care for them all. Not a word is made of the fertility specialist who implanted 8 embryos in her womb or the fact that the US lacks both the healthcare and welfare structures to support its own citizens preferring instead to spend billions killing other children around the world. There are issues raised by this case – notably the ethics of the medical profession but they don’t make Suleman “the worst mother living on the planet”.

 The only mother on this list who actually deserves to be on it is the Mom from Futurama. And, she’s a fucking cartoon character.

In the interests of gender parity, I’ve come up with my list of “worst fathers living on the planet”.

In no particular order:

Woody Allen – for marrying his stepdaughter and that tiny issue of child sexual abuse

Charlie Sheen: for multiple accounts of domestic violence and years of substance abuse. After all, if it makes Mueller a bad mother, then it certainly makes Sheen a bad father – and that’s without the small issue of Sheen actually shooting a former girlfriend in the arm.

Andrew Parsons: Call me persnickety, but a man who kills the mother of his child in front of the child is  not a “good father” like the judge claimed.

Every single father who perpetrates domestic and/or sexual violence and abuse.

Every single man who has murdered the mother of his children. Or his children.