Dear Ally Fogg, Start your own Counting Dead Men Project …

Dear Ally Fogg,

Please start your own Start your own Counting Dead Men Project. I am so incredibly bored of you derailing the amazing work Karen Ingala Smith and other women are doing tracking male violence against women and girls in order to shriek “whatta bout the menz”

It was completely unnecessary for you to respond to this:

Screen Shot 2014-10-01 at 10.23.41 with:

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We all know the vast majority of violence against women and girls is committed by men. We know the vast majority of women and girls murdered are killed by men – most of whom the victims know personally. We know men are the majority of perpetrators of domestic violence against women, children and other men. We all know that in the rare cases of female on male homicide, that many (if not most) of the female perpetrators kill men who are abusing them. We also all know that Ingala Smith is tracking women killed by men, so your complaint is just ridiculous.

If you genuinely care about male victims of violence, stop derailing conversations about male violence against women and girls and start your own Counting Dead Men Project. I’m sure if you ask Ingala Smith politely, she will give you some top tips on the best ways to research the data on women who kill men.  To make it as accurate as Ingala Smith’s Counting Dead Women Project, you will need to ensure you include more than just names. You will need to include whether or not the male victims had a history of domestic violence.

You could even start a Counting Dead Men Project which includes EVERY single male victim of homicide so we could see that the vast majority of men are killed by other men. But, we all know you won’t bother doing this. It’s far easier to derail conversations about the reality of male violence to whine than it is to actually do the work Karen Ingala Smith does: giving a name to the women who are murdered every month.

If you can prove that women kill two men a week and that these women did not kill a violent current or former partner in self-defence, then I might stop thinking your an MRE. We all know you can’t prove this though.


P.S I’ve storified some of the great feminist response to Fogg here.


“Parody” Accounts Remain a sign of the truly desperate: Redux

I’ve written about parody accounts before – and someone always pops up to say I have no sense of humour. The problem is not my sense of humour, or lack thereof. It’s the fact that I can tell the difference between the Larry the Downing Street Cat twitter account, which targets politicians and policies and isn’t very polite, and the ones created to harass, intimidate, abuse and silence women. Larry the Cat – even at his rudest – does not have the political power to silence the prime minister (as much as we might want him to). These “parody” accounts of women are part of a spectrum of abusive behaviour created with the sole purpose of silencing women. They are, in and of themselves, abusive behaviour.

These “parody” accounts aren’t just by misogynists targeting women – they are being shared by women who self-identify as feminists. These women are sharing tweets by accounts set up directly to harass, shame and silence another women. Feminism doesn’t mean we can’t be critical of other women’s politics or behaviours. But, there is a world of difference between criticism of a political stance and trashing another women. It’s so incredibly depressing that we now have self-defined feminists who believe that trashing is a valid political action.

Critical engagement with each other’s political policies, activism and theories is essential to the success of the feminist movement. But, we won’t get anywhere if women who self-define as feminists replicate the same abusive behaviours as misogynists. We need to stop pretending that these “parody” accounts are anything other than patriarchy in action and start engaging with other as if we are real people. With feelings and everything.

Otherwise, we might as well jack feminism in and leave the misogynists in charge.