This is why men can’t be feminists:

This is a comment left on  A Room of our Own: A Feminist/ Womanist Network in response to my paper for the Women’s Spaces and Feminist Politics; yesterday, today and tomorrow conference.

This is why men can’t be feminists: because they write patronising drivel:

Dear Author:

I was looking for an email address on your website to contact the owner of this site and the lady who made this speech. I am a 25 year old male, and a women’s studies grad at UcLa. I originally chose this major because it seemed like an easier gateway entering law school, but it actually ended up being one of the best decisions I have ever made. I totally respect and understand your desire to have a forum only for women, but what I found out through my 4 years of study was that men, especially young women, often feel disinterested in feminism and misogyny because they get this “we hate men” vibe. When I first started at ucla, a lot of young women raised an eyebrow at me in classes and didn’t know what my intentions were in terms of why I chose this major. But the truth is that there are a lot of men who are absolutely interested in healthy discussions about feminism and gender problems. I believe that it is absolutely essential for men to be involved in order to make positive changes. If only women talk about these problems and men are left out of the circle, it’s only repeating what has been going on for the last 3-4 decades. I hope that you offer men the opportunity to discuss these issues in a healthy and supportive environment, and I apologize for any abuse you have endured from men online. Thanks for your time and best of luck to you.

Yeah, that “we hate men” vibe is such a problem for feminists what with the whole insisting rapists be held criminally liable and fathers financially responsible for their children. Seriously, if this what 4 years of Women’s Studies taught this dude, we’re fucked.

2 thoughts on “This is why men can’t be feminists:”

  1. The young man, however naive, has identified the one fundamental weakness that being the “We Hate Men” vibe and he’s right so long as it remains there it is the primary barrier to persuading men to engage with Feminism and collaborate with it to further its goals.

    It is of course permissible to hate men, all men, and all & any men are free to react accordingly.

    Frankly saying “we hate men” sounds like an adolescent outpouring of frustration at being denied something rather minor. I hate you Dad because you wont let me go & get drunk with the local boys. I hate you Mom because you keep telling me I have to study and stop me wearing very short skirts to school. I hate you because you didn’t ask me out.”

    Hate is a peculiar emotion so full of vitriol and spite, but so like and close to love.

    Remove the hate and what do we have? I suggest the following, Men pose a significant threat to the well being, physical and psychological, of women. It is therefore not in the long term interests of women to be co-located with or associate with men. So corrupted are the patriarchal institutions that they are beyond reform, and it is concomitant upon feminists therefore to create a parallel entity that is structured to meet the needs of females over their life time and to seek to persuade all women.

    Males need disengagement from women in order to remove from their midst the toxic symbiosis that binds them into a self-destructive cycle that we understand to be the patriarchy. It is the presence of women that compels males to conform to patriarchal stereotypes that leads them to suppress their innate feelings and their capacity to develop constructive relationships with women. (It is notable that males in exclusively male environments are able to show enormous depths of care and compassion that is all too absent in mixed gender environments)

    Holding all males culpable of the crimes against females is as obscene as misogyny. It is as rational as holding millions of Jews responsible for the alleged financial misdeeds of the few and creates a fertile environment for myth-making, dishonesty and manipulation. Creating myths / factoids about men based on spurious interpretation of statistics creates an environment wherein Feminists enjoin in battle against a mythological force rather than an actual entity. The consequence of this is that Feminism looses women allies and repeatedly looses ground to a more competent foe.

    The maintenance of the “We Hate Men” culture is the a cancer within the Feminist Revolution that is consuming it faster than the Patriarchy.

Leave a Reply